WHAT IS $LOAF ?
$LOAF ISN’T JUST A LOAF OF BREAD, IT’S THE LOAF OF BREAD. The Almighty $LOAF (also known as $LOAF Bloke) is a Whole-Grain MEME King considered by many to be the very definition of the essence of GOOD WILL and FORTUNE, as well as a direct spawn of SOLANA. The Almighty LoAf is the deity of the CHAIN and outlook of LoAfism, the very function of which is to see The Almighty LoAf in control of the universe and Solana’s meme productions, as well as to have all yeast based foods and products receive the proper buttering and toasting in preparation for consumption.
LOAFISM
Loafism (also know as the Church of Loafism) is an outlook and religion which promotes The Almighty $Loaf's ultimate dominance and control over the universe and its inhabitants, along with all yeast based foods and products receiving the proper buttering and toasting in preparation for consumption. Followers of Loafism are commonly referred to as Loafers, in tribute to the original earthly name as self chosen by The Almighty $Loaf.
THE ALMIGHTY $LOAF
Aliases: $Loaf Bloke, Loafer,
Relatives: Unknown
Affiliation: Loafism
Biographical information
Marital status: Inbread
Date of birth: Unknown
Place of birth: Pump.fun
Date of death: Impervious to death
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Species: Whole-Grain Demon King
Gender: Male
Height: Unknown
Weight: Unknown
Eye color: Black
BOOK OF $LOAF
The Book of $LoAf catalogues all writings, scriptures and teachings as related to the Church of LoAfism and The Almighty LoAf, as found throughout the Bible of Meme.
PRAISE $LOAF
BIBLE SCRIPTURE
The Book of $LoAf catalogs all writings, scriptures and teachings as related to the Church of LoAfism and The Almighty $LoAf as found throughout the Bible of Meme.
COMMANDMENTS
The Book of $LoAf's first entry, -Sheldor-'s Commandments - The Almighty LoAf, includes the fundamental rules, principals and values that every LoAfer must abide by:
“ I - Never trap thy unicorn or the sin of the evil seed will germinate in ye body. Remember if ye uses thy brain, use it for $loAf and yeast sake.
II - A LoAf shall be toasted if thy are not true with butter and such condiments. A Toast is a sin to the LoAves and thus traps thy unicorns.
III -The Half LoAf has come twice now. The third time shall cause Mr. Gordon Freebread to be flung into the pit of head crabs. Praise the Almighty $LoAf.
IV - If the Almighty LoAf is not please with his sacrifices, then the bell shall strike. As the striking of the bell begins so does the yodelling. As the yodelling continues, the Chief of Donut Repair will come with his beings of dough and thy will strike ye who has not pleased The Almighty $LoAf.
”
— -Sheldor-'s Commandments - The Almighty $LoAf